WHAT IF OTHER ORGANIZATIONS RAN THEIR MEETINGS LIKE 😊"MODERN" COURTS RUN THEIRS? 😉
PREPARE FOR AN EXCITING TRIP BACK TO THE DARK AGES!!!
SCHOOLS:
1) TEACHER SITS UP HIGH BEHIND A BENCH LOOKING DOWN AT STUDENTS. HAS A HAMMER WHICH THEY POUND WHEN THEY ARE FEELING INADAQUATE
2) "`ORDER IN THE CLASSROOM!!!"'
3) TEACHER STAYS CLENCHED UP "`BACK DOWN THERE"' THE WHOLE CLASS MEETING
4) STUDENTS FIRST NEED TO BE SEARCHED BY ARMED AND PARANOID GUARDS BEFORE ENTERING SCHOOLHOUSE
a. (UNLESS YOU HAVE THE SPECIAL CARD YOU GET IF YOU ARE CONNECTED AND PAY FOR IT)
5) DON'T WORRY THE WALK THRU SCANNER SOUNDS FOR EVERYBODY. WE WILL JUST HAVE TO DO A MORE INTRUSIVE SEARCH WHICH WE THUS DO FOR EVERYBODY EVERYTIME (UNLESS YOU HAVE THE SPECIAL CARD)
6) NO PHONES ALLOWED IN THE SCHOOL: GO BACK TO YOUR CAR AND LEAVE IT THERE (UNLESS YOU HAVE THE SPECIAL CARD)
7) TEACHERS GET TO WEAR BLACK FULLLENGTH GOWNS (HOW PIOUS!)😊
8) "ALL RISE''
9) CONTEMPT OF CLASS: NOT RISING. JAILTIME AND FINE.
10) WANT OUT OF JAIL? HIRE A CARD HOLDER.
11) WANT TO HIRE A CARD HOLDER: SIGN THIS RETAINER AND PAY $5000 UPFRONT AND $350 PER HOUR
12) ARMED GUARDS IN THE ROOM. WATCHING THE STUDENTS
13) SCHOOLS AND CLASSROOMS BUILT PURPOSELY TO INTIMIDATE STUDENTS
14) BACK FROM YOUR CAR? NO LAPTOPS ALLOWED IN THE COURTROOM GO BACK TO YOUR CAR AND LEAVE IT THERE (UNLESS YOU HAVE THE SPECIAL CARD)
15) TAKING NOTES?!? CONTEMPT OF COURT! JAIL TIME AND FINES!
16) YOU WANT A NOTETAKER? $1000 PER HOUR (OR MORE IF THEY THINK THEY CAN GET IT!)
17) NOT CALLING TEACHER "`YOUR HONOR"': CONTEMPT OF CLASS. JAIL TIME AND FINE
18) TEACHERS CALL THEMSELVES “THE CLASSROOM”
19) YOU AGAIN? NO BOOKS IN THE CLASSROOM. LEAVE IT BACK IN YOUR CAR. (YOU DON’T HAVE A CARD!)
20) WANT TO SPEAK IN CLASS? TAKE THIS OATH, PUT YOUR HAND ON THE BIBLE.
21) WON'T TAKE OATH OR BIBLE IS NOT YOUR CREED? CONTEMPT OF COURT! JAIL TIME AND FINES!
22) ASKING TEACHER TO TAKE SAME OATH: CONTEMPT OF CLASS! JAIL TIME AND FINES!
23) DID YOU NOT HIRE ONE OF THE CARDHOLDERS? YOU CAN'T SEE AN ADVISOR OR REGISTER
24) WANT TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE TEACHER OUTSIDE OF CLASS? TALK TO YOUR CARD HOLDER
25) DON'T HAVE A CARD HOLDER RETAINED? TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE TEACHER FILE WITH THE ADMINISTRATION.
26) OF COURSE THE TEACHER DIDN'T GET YOUR MESSAGE, YOU USED THE WRONG FORM. I AM NOT ALLOWED TO TELL YOU WHAT FORM TO USE. YOU SHOULD HIRE A CARD HOLDER
27) YES THIS TIME YOU FILED THE CORRECT FORM BUT NO ONE SAID THAT MEANS THE TEACHER WILL RESPOND OR EVEN READ YOUR MESSAGE
28) YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR GRADE IN THE CLASS. WELL, IT IS THE POLICY ON THE SYLLABUS. THE SYLLABUS IS PARTIALLY ONLINE AND PARTIALLY OFF. THE SYLLABUS IS DISTRIBUTED AMONG 5000 WEBSITES AND 1000’S OF OFFLINE FILES
29) I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU WHICH POLICY. FIND THE POLICY YOURSELF. OR PAY A CARD HOLDER
30) YOU ARE LIKE A BAD PENNY. NO BACKPACKS ALLOWED IN THE CLASSROOM. TAKE IT TO YOUR CAR
31) ADVISOR: YOU HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT NAVIGATING THE BUREAUCRACY? I AM NOT ALLOWED TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION. HIRE A CARD HOLDER
32) YOU KEEP COMING BACK. NO PAPER ALLOWED IN THE CLASSROOM. TAKE IT TO YOUR CAR.
33) FOOD, WATER, DRINK, HAT, EACH YIELD A TRIP BACK TO THE CAR
34) NO "`SLOVENLY"' (EXACT WORDS!) DRESSED STUDENTS IN THE CLASSROOM
35) PHONE, LAPTOP, BOOKS, FILES, PAPER, PENCIL, PEN, BOOKS IN CAR? YOU CAN COME IN BUT WE ARE WATCHING YOU. NEXT TIME THERE WILL BE SOMETHING NEW YOU CAN’T BRING IN.
36) CONTEMPT OF CLASS: LATE TO CLASS MEETING. JAIL TIME AND FINE
37) YOU ARE RICH AND CONNECTED AND HAVE RETAINED THE MOST CONNECTED AND PRICE GOUGING-IST CARD HOLDER? YOU DON’T HAVE TO COME TO CLASS. YOU GET AN A.
FEEL FREE TO PLZ ADD YOUR OWN ITEMS BELOW:
NEW 3/13/23:
38) GRADES ARE BASED ON FABRICATED SCORES MADE UP BY THE TEACHER AND ASSOCIATED CARD HOLDERS
39) IF YOU SAY, WRITE OR OTHERWISE COMMUNICATE THE WORDS FAIRNESS, EQUALITY, OR JUSTICE BE CERTAIN YOU FAIL
NEW 5/15/23:
40) ALL OVERSIGHT RULES ARE WRITTEN BY
41) YOU WANT TO FILL OUT COURSE EVALUATIONS OR OTHERWISE GIVE FEEDBACK ABOUT CLASS EXPERIENCES? PAY UP. YOU’LL NEED THE NOTES (PAY THE NOTETAKER WHATEVER THEY GOUGE YOU) AND YOU’LL NEED TO GREASE THE OVERSEERS.
41) IF YOU WANT TO EXPRESS YOUR DISATISFACTION WITH THE PROCESS